When do I become a sausage?

German tourist sitting in an English café, waiting for his order to arrive:

“I am sitting here since ten minutes. When do I become a sausage?”

(“Bekommen” is German for “to receive”, but it is occasionally confused with the English word “become”.)

Well, as a child I was once almost on the receiving end of not just one sausage but a whole packet of sausages, hurled in my general direction by an irate family member who had just been reading my copy of a book entitled “The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy”. Immediately preceding that, I gained a new perspective on the words “I will overturn...” (Ezekiel 21:27 KJV) as I witnessed the kitchen table being upended and some newly purchased groceries sent flying onto the kitchen floor.

Shortly after that, I decided to stop eating sausages.

Logical? An obvious case of cause and effect? Not at all, as it happens. There was no causal connection between the two events. And here’s another surprising fact: there are thousands of people around the world who will have no difficulty understanding exactly what I’m talking about. With that kind of heritage in common, no wonder some of us enjoy keeping in touch.